|The Child Baptist in the Wilderness by Sir Joshua Reynolds (1776)|
|look cool. break your sternum.|
last month, my friend got a DUI and i drove to eagan to pick her up and i brought her home with me and the next morning, i prepared for an interview, hosed myself with burberry, and drove my friend to her parents' house. and last night i met that friend for a drink and asked if she would be so kind as to illustrate the interior of my locket necklace. and the truth is, she was going to, but she said it smelled like The Worst Day of her Life. what it smelled like was burberry, which is what i have been smelling like since December 25, 2010, which is the smell that makes my friend want to throw up. so that's great. i'm not exactly drowning in friends. minnesota has 13,000 lakes and not one of them is full of friends. and do you know what. i took off my locket and submerged it in beer and my friend agreed to help me as long as i never smell like burberry again.
one of my tasks as intern today was to go on a journey (that's literally how it was assigned to me by my supervisor) through the minneapolis skyways until i reached the 40th floor of the north building on south 6th street. it took me 5x as long as it should have because i'm directionally challenged and i'm always late for everything no matter what. on my way back to the suite, i shared a skyway with a nice young man who was talking to himself in at least 5 different voices, one of them a high-pitched female voice ranting about pressing rape charges. another of my tasks as intern was to call people and present them with the opportunity to hang up on me. another of my tasks was to order some much-desired dvds and a photography book for myself on amazon.com while eating carrot sticks.
i interviewed for a year-long Public Allies fellow position at a residential high school & professional development center in estes park, CO. working there would be a miniature dream come true. i won't get it. i'll ruin my chances somehow. like by blowing the interview. or by being underqualified. anyheck, the current life plan is to get that job or to tag along with the talented and best rose that i know all the way to chicago in search of adequate-to-fat paychecks. i need to relocate. i need to be young. it's important. i cannot live with my parents in the barren suburbs. and now i am going to bed because it's 9PM and i can't keep my eyes open.