I'm in no position to book Gambino for anything, unless he does charity shows. This is my tragic situation. I purchased 2 tickets to the I AM DONALD show in Minneapolis, May 19th for my babysister and I, and have since discovered that I have to work one of my 3 part-time jobs. I will be downtown Minneapolis seeing to it that The Advocates for Human Rights' Annual Human Rights Awards Dinner runs smoothly. I will be dragging my feet to the beat of distant, probably imagined, reverberations coming from the Varsity Theater.
I have a proposal. I am hoping that Donald might be interested in trading autographs with me, or meeting for a drink and a handshake post-show. My autograph is not worth much right now, it'd be more of a blind investment or an ironic wall ornament or a funny thing to give to a friend for their birthday as though it were important. Donald could sign a milk carton or a candy wrapper or a band-aid and I bet I'd think it was really special and I'd put it in a float frame and I'd never let anybody look at it unless they had earned my highest respect. If this proposal seems like one that you think he would go for, please reply so that I can prepare my autograph. I'm thinking that the simple strategy would be for him to call "Liddle Slice aka Glittertits" to the stage on May 19th, at which point my babysister will make the transaction in high fashion.
Apologies for an abnormal proposal. If nothing else, it gave you a BREAK.
So sincerely, XXXXXXXXXXXXX