and i was offered a job yesterday morning. it is a real job. it is not a minimum wage, smile-and-shake-the-tip-jar, greasy apron job. it is for adults, like me, who need some serious cheddar. i am going to take it because no one knows what's going on and i might as well say "yes" to the whole production. i am talking about the biggest picture. i am going to write about exquisite and mediocre pieces of furniture in exchange for paychecks. i am going to move to NE minneapolis with my good, nice friend. i am going to reattempt the GRE, continue to stitch cigarette boxes into the shape of a dress, and dedicate my income to student loans and my 1999 Buick Regal, who i have decided to rename Rickety Cricket.
i went to lewisburg, pennsylvania for a week. it is the home of my professor/mentor/friend/homegirl who i had not seen since 2009. i had my first dunkin donuts donut. i had my first pedicure. i also had my first experience being gawked at by a woman - a female store owner who talked about my legs at length and made me feel like a meatstick. i think that people in pennsylvania are not used to seeing legs or maybe body parts in general. at the philadelphia airport, a 60-something year old man crossed the food court to tell me that he liked my stockings. maybe they just knew that i was a foreigner and wanted me to know that they knew. as far as minnesota is concerned, i don't even have legs. i once dropped my pants in the middle of the woods, mid-run, to correct a wedgie. at that precise moment, an Elderly Gentleman dressed all in white, riding bareback on a White Stallion rounded the corner and saw all of my southern belle and did not even blink when i stated that i was lost and asked for directions. it may be that minnesotans are conditioned to go cross-eyed in the presence of nakedness because it's rude to stare. sexuality repressed edenward. i had a very nice time in PA and i can't wait to be able to travel without my bank account buckling under.
it is the last major piece of news: i am seeing dwayne michael carter jr. aka weezy aka lil wayne aka weezy f baby at the excel center tonight. he joined cash money records when he was 9 years old. guess what? wikiwayne says: At age 13, he accidentally shot himself with a 9 mm handgun, and off-duty police officer Robert Hoobler drove him to the hospital. also, he has 4 kids. i do not belong at the excel center, or anyplace, and my sister (who won the tickets for us) has been preparing her face and hair and outfit for over an hour already. so i have to take a shower and put powders and cremes on my face and put my stockings on because tonight i am a popstarstruck teenybop and no one can stop me.
|bless you, robert hoobler|