truth: i almost killed what i love most

a little history:
my family has two yorkshire terriers, willow (aka stormfellow, aka stinkyboots, aka weezypup, aka babywookie) and franny (aka silverback, aka biscuit, aka chubs, aka skywalker).  in 2008, silverback had a stroke as a puppy after witnessing the abduction of our then-pup zoey by a bald eagle (it is illegal to shoot them, if you didn't know it).  silverback had a slow recovery and to this day cannot walk on hardwood floors or tile without her puppylegs giving out from under her.  she struggles to wag her tail and she is inexpressive and silent unless it is suppertime, then she flips out, licks her own face, and pats the ground with her forepaws.  i am in love with her.  she and i used to take long naps together.  i lift her to the dinner table each night and i let her eat from my plate like a real human.  i massage her legs and i tell her secrets about how i love her better than stinkyboots.  her temperament suits me, it's that simple.
4 hours ago

you'll notice that no matter how hard she is kissed, she remains unmoved.  she is a rock.  she is the surest thing.  she is my sunshine and my moonshine and my clearskies and my cloudyday.  jesus christ, she is my onetruelove.  and so when i was eating a carrots and raisins with peanut butter snack earlier this week, and silverback stood at my feet looking up at me all blankstare, i did not hesitate to drop some raisins onto the floor for her to eat.  she ate them and i could tell that she liked it because her breathing got heavy the way it does at suppertime.  i thought about how much i love raisins and how much i love silverback, and i thought about how unfair it is that she cannot choose her snacks like i can choose mine, and i thought about how deserving she is of everysnack, and i began placing the raisins in her mouth in little clumpfuls.  and then i took a nap.  when i woke up, my mom gave me some information.

a little information about raisin toxicity:
  • apparently, raisins and grapes are toxic to dogs and can cause vomiting, renal failure, abdominal pain, diarrhea, inability to urinate, depression, and death within 48 hours of ingestion.
  • 140 cases of grape and raisin toxicity were reported to the animal poison control center between 2003 and 2004 and 7 of those cases died.
  • renal failure occurs after ingesting 3 grams per kilogram of raisins or dry matter of grapes. dry matter is calculated as 20% of grape weight.  thanks, wikipedia.
  • if you suspect that your dog has ingested large quantities of raisins or grapes, call your veterinarian or the APCC's emergency hotline at 1-888-4-ANI-HELP.
my mom convinced me that silverback was surely going to die and my dad proclaimed that he had no intention of taking her to see the vet because that would be a waste of time and money.  he forced her to vomit instead, 3 times, by feeding her pretzels (which never cease to make silverback puke).  my mom sifted through the vomit for raisins.  i volunteered to take her to the vet the next day after work at the cafe.  but guess what, she has an iron stomach and she'll snack on whatever she wants and the only reason she threw up was because my dad forced her to.  she is fine and i feel terrible about my ignorance and so

i am not going to eat raisins for 60 days.  

and i would like to invite the whole world that knows about this secret blog to also abstain from that snack as a tribute to silverback's iron stomach, thank christ, and in remembrance of those fine puppies who have died of raisin or grape-induced renal failure in the past.  please don't eat raisins.  eat the grapes if you want.  but don't eat the raisins.  and don't leave them on the ground, for heaven's sake, because a dog might snack on them.


  1. i had no idea that raisins and dogs don't mix. now raisins and varlets will not mix for 60 days. TRIBUTE TO THE STREN'TH OF THE BISCUIT BURGER.

  2. thank you for your love and support.